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Ask me anythingNext pageArchive

fuckyeahlaughters:

“Go wash the dishes!”

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“Go take out the garbage!”

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“Go fold the clothes!”

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“Go make me coffee!”

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“Go do the laundry!”

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“Go hang the clothes!”

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“Go bring me my purse so I can give you money!”

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(Source: sreezuh, via ofmiceandparkway)

What I think when kids in my class read

  • That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA
  • That’s a COMMA, NOT A PERIOD
  • Why the hell can’t you pronounce that word?
  • THE TEACHER JUST CORRECTED YOU WHY’D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN?!?!?!
  • Can I sleep?
  • If you can’t read, why’d you raise your hand?
  • You can’t pronounce THAT word?
  • WHAT THE HELL
  • The fuck you like long ass paragraphs for
  • My skin’s crawling
  • Oh god not him, his voice sounds like a dying nail on a dying chalkboard
  • You skipped a line
  • LOL what was that?
  • I don’t even. 

(Source: youcanbethecaptain, via ughhok)

selfdoubtandsyphilis:

dankestrnemes:

do animals think in english or in the sounds they make

this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for

(via bonheur-et)

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

(via tumbloler)

butasparrow:

touchmypopsicle:

it’s kinda funny how when you get older you start to enjoy the things you hated as a kid like taking naps and getting spanked

the second one was kind of unexpected

but no one is disagreeing 

(via seafolly)

run-cause-hitler:

enayalate-h8-this-year:

bbanditt:

slett:

winchestercodependency:

ibecameacat:

what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do

dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off

“People with vaginas”

what are those called again

I can’t remember

this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for 

(Source: vvumblr, via pizza)